


The Ability to Think

by DontKillBugs



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crying, Homeworld is Horrible, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Past Brainwashing, Past Torture, steven quartz universe is a human therapy dog, white diamond's pearl has been through some awful stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:18:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15419799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontKillBugs/pseuds/DontKillBugs
Summary: After the dust settles, Steven gives White Diamond's Pearl a dip in Rose's Fountain.





	The Ability to Think

As the Pearl sank, unmoving, beneath the surface of the water, Steven couldn't help but stare. Her single eye stared up at him, unblinking, and _Oh Stars, she's still smiling._

It had been Connie's idea. She had remembered what Steven had told her about Rose's fountain. The Gems had been easy to convince. No one had known what to do with White Diamond's Pearl when the dust had settled. She was unsettling to look at, but at the same time, Steven couldn't help but feel sorry for her. What had been done to her was... it was an abomination.

It hadn't been easy. Through some Gem-magic-based gobbledegook Steven couldn't begin to understand, Pearl had been able to eject some items that had been stored inside White's Pearl's gem. Steven didn't know what the contraptions had been, but he could guess from the horror he had seen in Pearl and Bismuth's faces. He had caught words like "transmission" and "feedback loop" from the hushed discussion the Gems had had. He typically didn't like the Gems keeping things from him, but in this case, he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

White's Pearl lay at the bottom of the shallow waters, hands extended at her shoulders. Steven glanced over his shoulder. Garnet, Pearl, and the others were waiting out of sight, behind the entrance to the area, per Steven's request. Steven wanted White's Pearl to have some space, just in case-

All at once, the gentle waters churned as White's Pearl suddenly thrashed above the surface. She breathed heavily, head whipping around frantically.

It had worked.

The Pearl's eye had reformed, a surprisingly rich magenta. Her skin and hair had also regained a pink glow to them. She stopped suddenly, freezing in place. She stared at her hands, still clad in their gray gloves. The hands rotated, back and forth, before slowly, shakily, moving upward toward her face. She touched the left side of her face, feeling her skin, gently moving over her newly formed eye.

Steven raised a single hand. "Uh-"

The Pearl whipped her head to the side, staring at him, both eyes wide in shock. She sat there, still on her knees in the water.

"...Hi?"

The Pearl stared, looking more through him than at him. Her breathing became more heavy, hitched, her shoulders moving up and down with them. As tears began to well up in her eyes, a low, keening moan began to bubble up from her throat. The moan suddenly turned into a shriek, the Pearl's hands clutching the side of her face, two fingers digging tightly into one of her buns.

Without hesitating, Steven immediately vaulted the ledge of the fountain and into the waters, grabbing the Pearl in a tight hug. She thrashed briefly, before stopping in place. Slowly, she leaned into the hug, sobbing tears that hadn't been able to run in millennia. "I... I... I..."

Steven tightened his grip. "I know."

"She... oh stars, I... sh-she put things... i-i-i-in my head, in me, in my... my Gem-". She shook as she talked, her voice her own again.

"I know."

"Please... please don't-"

"Ssshhhhhh. It's okay. We won't. I promise."

"Pleeeeease...," she moaned, sinking deeper into the hug.

"We won't. You're safe now. No one is ever gonna hurt you again. I promise."

She wept, whole body shaking. "Oh, th-thank you, thank you..."

Steven held her, as she cried, her fat tears mixing with the fountain's own. At some point, the two of them moved to the edge of the fountain, Steven leaning against the ledge, his legs underwater. The Pearl cried and cried, over 5000 years worth of suffering and horror pouring out. Steven remained quiet, knowing she needed to get this out.

Eventually, the sobs turned to sniffles, turned to hiccups, turned to slow breaths. Steven glanced over and realized the Pearl had fallen asleep. He knew that Gems didn't need sleep, but she had earned a rest a thousand times over and a thousand times again.

A familiar square-headed shadow loomed next to him, cast by the setting sun. Steven craned his head around to see Garnet, face somber. She sat down on the ledge, next to the pair. "How is she?"

Steven looked at the Pearl's face again, then back at Garnet. "I don't think she's all better yet... but she's better than she was before."

Garnet nodded in agreement. She stood, then knelt down and lifted the sleeping Gem effortlessly. "C'mon, let's get you two home."

Steven nodded, standing and clambering out of Rose's fountain. A quick warp later, and they were back at the house, newly renovated courtesy of Bismuth.

In the dark, cool living room, Steven breathed deeply. Garnet went to put the Pearl on the couch, when Steven spoke up. "Put her in my bed."

Garnet turned to look at him. "Are you sure?"

Steven nodded. "That bed's the comfiest thing I know. She needs as much comfy as she can get." Garnet nodded, and carried the Pearl up the stairs. She laid her down in Steven's bed. Steven grabbed a stuffed Cookie Cat, and tucked it in the Gem's arms. The Pearl mumbled something, and clutched the stuffed animal tighter. She rolled onto her side, facing away from Steven.

The next week went by with refreshing quiet. The Pearl didn't move from her position on the bed, facing the wall. Steven slept on the couch just below, under a spare quilt. He kept things quiet in the house as the Pearl slept, making sure Amethyst ate quietly, keeping his phone on vibrate, and feeding Lion outside.

It was confusing to just think of her as "The Pearl." Blue and Yellow Diamond's Pearls had become accustomed to him calling them by their colors, and Pearl was Pearl of course, but Steven couldn't bear to think of this Gem as White's Pearl, not after what had been done to her. He knew that most Gems were assigned a facet-based serial number they could identify themselves by, but he refused to dignify that by even thinking about doing it.

On the eighth day, Steven awoke early. Dawn was slowly rising over the ocean. The house was quiet, and he could hear the waves lapping against the beach. He rose, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn. As he had every morning of the week so far, he quietly stepped up the first three stairs. He froze upon seeing the bed.

It was empty. The blanket he had tucked over the Pearl was tossed to one side, as if the sleeper beneath it had awoken with a start. Stuffed Cookie Cat lay on his head, propped against the mattress.

Steven glanced around. The silent house was empty.

He padded back down the stairs, bare feet tapping lightly on the polished wood floor. He pushed the screen door open with a loud squeak, stepping out onto the porch.

To his surprise, there stood Amethyst, leaning against the porch railing as she looked down at the beach. The sea breeze blew her hair gently. Her boots were off, kicked to one side.

"Amethyst?"

She turned, one finger up, shushing him gently. She pointed a single finger over her shoulder, down at the beach. Steven walked to the railing and looked down.

The Pearl stood in the water, the waves up to her knees. She stared out at the sea, gloved hands clenched together at chest level. Her black and white uniform made her stick out like a sore thumb on the brightly colored beach.

Steven took the stairs down from the porch quietly, then down the slope to the beach. Sand between his bare toes, he approached the Pearl, eyes squinting slightly from the sunrise off the water. He stopped, unsure of what to say. The water lapped gently at his feet.

The Pearl spoke, her voice soft, so similar to Pearl's yet so different. "This is... an ocean, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. You don't have these on Homeworld, do you?"

"I had heard of them. Homeworld sometimes harvested planets that had them, but I never thought it'd be so..." She trailed off.

"Big?" Steven supplied.

She nodded, still facing the sea. "Big. Yes."

Steven looked down, his feet in wet sand. "How are you feeling?"

The Pearl was silent for several seconds. When she spoke, she shuddered. "I'm... _feeling_. I'm feeling and thinking and, and..."

She turned to look at him. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth crooked. "For the first time in... I can't begin to imagine how long... I can _feel_. I can _think_. I _exist_."

The Pearl approached him, then flopped heavily to her knees. "Please, tell me... are you going to make me do anything?"

Steven reached out, and clutched her gloved hands in his. "No. _Never_. You never have to take orders or do anything you don't want to do again."

Her hands shook in his. Suddenly, she jerked forward and grabbed him in a hug, holding him tightly. She buried her face in his shoulder, tears soaking into his pajamas.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."


End file.
